


The Nice and Accurate Study of Emoticons

by tangerine (arte)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Season/Series 10, inspired by that one scene in 10x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arte/pseuds/tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How did Cas learn about emoticons? </p><p>Dean drunk texts him one night. Cas studies text speech to decipher the messages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nice and Accurate Study of Emoticons

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains lots of footnotes, so brace yourself for numbers popping in during the story.

There are mornings, and there are _mornings,_ where aliens that took aesthetic advice from Gorns in Star Trek could be giving an inspiring evil speech while setting the City Hall on fire and you would go _Eh, later,_ and burrow into your bed as you contemplate how nicely miserable your life is(1).

Dean Winchester, of course, is facing the latter, with somebody drilling holes in his head(2). He groans, smothering himself with the pillow. He's intimately familiar with the consequence of heavy drinking, but he has yet to find healthier coping mechanism for becoming a demon and being human again, especially when the Mark of Cain continues to sit smugly on his arms.

His phone beeps on the table. 

He ignores it.

A few minutes later it does again. Dean curses himself for not turning it silent last night and gropes around the table. He should have just turned the thing off, but the ingrained habbit of making sure that no apocalypse is happening while he's being lazy kicks in and compels him to at least check(3).

It's Cas.

He rubs his bleary eyes and forces himself to actually read the text. Dude wouldn't contact him if it wasn't important.

(10:45) Dean?

(11:38) Dean, are you awake now? I'm starting to get worried that you've got attacked while you were drunk. 

(11:47) If you don't answer in an hour, I'll contact Sam to ask if something happened.

Small smile curves in his mouth, as it is swee- uh, good to see that Cas is worried about him. He's about to just send back 'I'm fine, no worries' and go back to sleep, but something niggles at the back of his mind.

(11:49) i'm fine cas how did you know i was drinking? 

(11:51) You texted me last night. :)

_:)?_

Dean squints at the screen, trying to make sure that he isn't just seeing thing. He crawls out of the bed to get the water and the ibuprofen that he had the foresight to prepare last night(4). He's too confused to deal with it now. Hydrated and medicated, he sends,

(12:02) cas you know what :) means?

(12:05) It's a emoticon that indicates smiley face. XP

Dean is taken aback by the accuracy of the answer and the appearance of another emoticon. His already taxed brain kinda goes haywire trying to imagine Cas making XP face.

(12:07) since when do you use emoticons?

(12:11) You showed me yesterday. You don't remember? :O I used Google as you told me. Now I know what 'text speech' is. :D

Fuck. 

Now that he's out of the emoticon enduced short circuit, he can see that Cas told him he had drunk texted him last night. 

Shit, what the hell?

(12:13) hold on lemme check

Dean texts in order to have a break down without Cas's message getting in the way. Not that he wants a break down, but it seems inevitable. Should he be happy that he didn't drunk dialed at least? Texting would have required more concentration which means less incriminating stuff, but on the other hand, it leaves evidence behind.

Why did he use emoticons last night? He doesn't use text speech with Cas since it would only confuse the guy. And emoticons! He doesn't even use them much. He's just aware of them since Charlie makes abundant use of them. 

Dread pooling in his stomach, Dean scrolls up to see the exchange from the night before.

-

(02:24) cas wyd 

(02:26) Dean, is that a code? Are you in trouble? 

(02:27) lol chil juts askin what you doing

(02:28) Oh, were you attempting abbreviation?

(02:28) duh

(02:29) Why didn't you just say so in the first place?

(02:30) m drunk too long xd

(02:32) You ended up using more letters in order to explain the concept to me.

(02:33) su

(02:36) Dean, are you being purposefully aggreviating or are you too drunk to finish your sentence?

(02:37) both? ;D

(02:40) You are sober enough to use the question mark in the right place. You are capable of using capital letters.

(02:40) xp

(02:41) Are you going to explain?

(02:42) no ur fault urnot herr :(

(02:45) I'm guessing ur is you're or your based on the similarity in pronunciation. I'm not her?

(02:45) here

(02:46) Oh. 

-

Dean has to close his eyes and make a strangled noise at this point. Shit, drunken him was clingy. What the hell was he thinking(5)?

After sufficient breathing exercise, he gathers up the courage to read on. He takes comfort in the fact that Cas isn't here, which means he must have done some damage control on his own.

-

(02:50) I'm sorry, Dean. Do you want me to come over?

(02:53) no dont needu m awsom

(02:54) Okay, maybe we can just talk.

(02:54) u takl

(02:56) I see you're unable to formulate complex sentences now. 

(02:56) ssass

(02:58) I have no idea what that is. Were you attempting to type my name?

(02:58) n t2m bb

(02:59) You're being insufferable. 

(02:59) ;)

-

Dean hears a high pitched noise that certainly didn't come from him. He rubs his eyes and look again but the reality doesn't change. God dammit, why was drunken him flirting with Cas(6)? He is now sobered up with horror. Tragically, there are more messages for him to read.

-

(03:02) I'll search for the meaning of the semi colon and parenthesis used together later on, if there is one.

(03:03) gooogle cool getit 

(03:05) I don't, but I'll take that as an advice to use Google. 

(03:05) y rsrch bb 

(03:07) Dean, English language has vowels for reason. Please use it.

(03:07) n

(03:12) Would Google even tell me what you're talking about? Is there universal English for drunk? Did people compile data to make dictionary out of that?

(03:14) nrd x)

(03:15) If not, I'll ask you back when you're sober.

(03:16) ;)

(03:17) Would you even remember?

(03:22) Dean?

(03:31) I hope you drank lots of water before falling asleep. Hangover is unpleasant.

(03:33) Sleep well, Dean.

-

Dean is never drinking until he blacks out, never. He has sworn many times in his life, but this time he's serious. It's a good thing he's alone in his room. He doesn't want to know what color his skin is right now.

He blindly stares at the cell phone. It's a few minutes later that he realizes Cas is probably waiting for his text. 

~~cas sorry i didn't mean to come on to you like~~

~~last night didn't happen~~

~~forget it i'm an idiot~~

After several falsr drafts, he sends,

(12:32) why're you only using emoticons and not abbreviations?

Casual, and no mention of the content of his disastrous attempt at drunken flirting. Dean approves.

Four minutes later, Cas replies,

(12:36) I like emoticons because they clear up the intent behind the words. :) Sadly, it seems abbreviations only cause trouble for clear communication. :(

Dean smiles. It seems Cas is determined to punctuate every sentence with appropriate emoticons.

(12:36) yeah? what gave you so much trouble?

It occurs to Dean that perhaps he shouldn't be steering the conversation into those incriminating text messages, but they're not talking about what he said last night, right? They're just discussing text speech in a detached, academic way, with no harking back to the context. It's purely cultural education here.

(12:39) Well, Dean, one particular abbreviation was difficult for me to pinpoint its meaning.

(12:40) what was it?

(12:41) What does bb mean? :0

Dean almost drops the phone. Fuck, what? 

...he didn't call Cas that, did he? 

He quickly scrolls up to check, and yup, he did. He wants to slap his past self for putting him in this predicament. Not missing a beat, his phone beeps.

(12:43) In my search, I found that it could be shortened word for big brother, be back, bright blessing or baby. Which one did you mean, Dean?

Dean's fingers hover over the screen. Unfortunately, there's only one answer that even remotely makes sense in the context, and there's no way he can type that word while he's sober.

...probably why he did last night.

Dammit, he's never getting drunk again.

Dean flexes his finger, and focuses on getting in touch with his inner linguist. He prays -no, bad word choice considering who's on the other side of the phone- hopes that some nerdiness has rubbed off on him from all the other nerds he has ever come into contact.

Slowly, he types,

(12:50) i think i misspelled cas

(12:52) Oh? So what was the original word suppose to be?

(12:53) bd

(12:54) Which means?

Dean pauses, as even he is dubious about whether Cas would fall for this. 

(12:54) it's a shorthand for buddy

(12:55) I see.

Dean worries his lips at the reply, hoping that damnable emticon would make appearance again so that he could gauge the angel's mood. 

Another text comes.

(12:56) So did your hand slip twice?

Dean stares at the message blankly, and slowly goes up to check again. Yes, his past self indeed used _bb_ twice. How kind of him.

He types,

(12:58) yeah

It's the only road open for him. He might as well stick to the grave he started digging.

Two minutes later,

(13:00) I suppose you meant to send :) rather than ;) as well? 

Just how much did Cas studied about emoticon(7)?

(13:01) yep

(13:02) I understand. 

Understand _what_? Dean nervously waits for something more to come as he has no idea how to keep the conversation going again if it ends at this awkward note. Luckily for him, the phone beeps again.

(13:04) But I think your mistakes are more aesthetically pleasing.

(13:05) what're you talking about, cas?

(13:06) Would you be offended if I call you bb instead of bd?

Dean reads the text three times. His heart skips. Surely, Cas can't possibly mean... Or can he?

(13:07) cas are you serious?

(13:07) Were you serious about bd?

Dean has the distinct feeling that he has just walked into a trap. Yes or no? Thousand arguments from both sides erupts in his mind. He ends up tentatively going,

(13:08) bb is more aesthetically pleasing isn't it?

He taps his foot as he waits for the reply. When it comes it reads,

(13:10) I'm glad you agree bb ;)

Grin spreads on Dean's face.

(13:11) ;) is your favorite emoticon am i right or am i right

(13:12) You already sound sure of yourself, Dean. ;)

It's a wonder how playful Cas sounds with the addition of one emoticon. Dean can practically imagine Cas squinting at the screen, grinning just like that emoticon as he enjoys himself.

He can't squash the rush of fondness as he sends,

(13:13) bb you're such a dork x)

 

* * *

(1) This City Hall in question, of course, would be located in New York, as every alien seems to be misinformed that New York is the official venue where you have to hand in your oral report on your plan for hostile take over or it doesn't count. Crowley may or may not have slipped that information with the sacred code of keep your friend close and your enemy closer in mind. It is certain, however, that there is a demonic headquarter in New York responsible for keeping outsiders away from the human souls. Super heroes are out of job because of them. Yay demons.

(2) Not literally. Naomi is already dead and so is Alastair. It's a sad state of affair that most similes require clarification in the Winchester life. 

(3) This is not a simile, or a metaphor, or a hyperbole. You see the problem.

(4) Dean is a credit hogger. Actually, it was Sam who had the foresight. Sam caught Dean slinking off to his room with armful of bottles, as Dean hadn't wanted to go to a bar full of people, yet wanted to get shit faced drunk. Sam used his puppy eyes to appeal to Dean to take it easy, or if that's too much, to prepare for the hangover at least. Feeling guilty after almost killing his brother, Dean acquiesced. 

(5) fuck you cas, i kniw sam told ya t'stay after curimg me. where didya run off to? who's the female in thr car? i'm not askin' that, i have dignity and shit. but i'm gonna be passv-aggrsc-, poke ya, huh, poking-

(6) The author regrets to inform you that Dean Winchester's repression was such that he dacked out this part of explanation with extreme prejudice. Condolences. This fic could have been rated mature or explicit with this part intact.

(7) Five hours, fifty two minutes, and seventeen seconds. He has, in fact, learned more complex emoticons such as (づ_ど), but is holding out on Dean until the time comes for him to impress Dean with his prowess.

+1

Uriel might have been the funniest angel in the garrison, but Castiel is the most trolling angel in the garrison, if the world trolling were to be ever utilised among the Heavenly Host. This fact is not widely recognized as Balthazar often took the fall for him. As such, Balthazar was the one with the reputation of being the most trolling angel in the garrison.

Castiel is not a credit hogger, unlike certain someone.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the fluffiest fic I've ever written xp As my knowledge of English text speech only comes from Google, please feel free to correct me if there's something weird about it. Hope you enjoyed the fic, let me know :)


End file.
